8 Years...Really?

This past Tuesday was the 8th anniversary of the best decision I have ever made. Erin and I were married on the 29th of July in the year 2000. Things have changed so much since then but it is hard to believe that my best friend and I have spent SO many years together. They have flown by and I wouldn't trade any of them. Erin, I love you more today than I did the day you walked down that blue aisle. I can't wait to see what the next eight years have in store.

This is a poem I wrote for Erin on her last birthday. If you don't know our story, you may not understand a lot of it but it means something to us so I'll share it. I love you Erin!

The Meaning of Words

Words For me - a tool for passing information from one to another
For you - love, communication, expression, poetry, soul-bearing - more than I can comprehend
Words are often spoken yet some are reminders of love...

"I'm not dating right now"
Frustrating, disheartening yet strong and wise
Just friends, no games, truly knowing the other
Waiting, waiting, waiting...well worth the wait

"What are you doing this weekend?"
Simple question loaded with meaning
A wedding...how fitting
Would you like to go visit Ruby?

"I'm going to have to move back to Canada in the spring"
The smell of roast beef all around and my stomach feels heavy
Panic, fear, sadness, desperation - excitement, exhilaration, assuredness
Roast beef is amazing!

"I do"
Pure beauty
Surrounded by people but just the two of us
Forever begins

"So do something about it"
The challenge to be more than I think possible
The constant search for the next adventure together
No excuses, just working toward a calling and supporting each other

"I would love to move to Kentucky"
Self-sacrifice in action
Support no matter where the path leads
Love shown with words, yes, but with life as well.

Picking Up Trash

I walk to work everyday. I enjoy it. I listen to sermons or study Hebrew vocab. I enjoy the exercise and the fresh air, the peace of being alone with time to think. Part of my walk is through the front of a number of yards because the sidewalk doesn't extend out of Wilmore all the way to our neighborhood and a few weeks ago I noticed something. A piece of trash, more specifically a Taco Bell wrapper, had made its way onto my path. I glanced down at it and kept walking. After a few steps I decided that I would be a responsible citizen and lover of the environment so I turned around and went back to pick it up. It felt pretty good. Then something strange happened. After a little while later I noticed another piece of trash and then another. I picked up as much as I could and carried it the rest of the way to the bookstore and disposed of the wretched litter. I have since noticed that every time I walk to or from work, it seems that there is more trash than the time before. It seems that every trip I notice more and more trash. When I finally noticed the first piece it opened my eyes to the massive amounts of trash along the road between my house and my place of employment.

Since that seemingly meaningless observation that day, I have begun to notice other things. Small things that seem insignificant that have opened my eyes to much larger issues. I have recently noticed that I enjoy routine and repetition. My job at the bookstore is very similar from day to day, tedious, detail specific, repetitive kind of work that might drive many to the nut house. I, on the other hand, find it very soothing to know exactly what to do and how to do it over and over again. I find ways to be more efficient and productive and how to make fewer and fewer mistakes. However, his observation about myself has shown me something else as well. I don't like change in the routine. I get nervous, anxious, down right panicked. I don't like trying something new. It terrifies me. I began to wonder why...I asked those close to me about it and probed for some insight. The resounding answer...something like this...

"You're afraid you might fail."
"You're afraid you might look stupid."
"You don't like to make yourself vulnerable and put yourself out there."
"It's the same reason you won't blog."

OK, OK, I get it. I really don't like to give up too much of myself. I am very uncomfortable in situations where I need to share things about myself with those I don't know very well. This is why I haven't been a very consistent blogger. Too vulnerable. I have an unsubstantiated fear that I might do something stupid, that others might think less of me, if I let them see too much of me. Don't ask me why.

Example: I have been interested in getting involved in a reading group for Hebrew since the spring. I heard about one a few weeks ago and last week was the first week I was going to attend. I was excited. Looking forward to it...that is until the morning that it arrived. I dreaded going all morning long. On a number of occasions I tried to talk myself into not going. I determined to go and finally made it and was glad I did.

I have some issues to work out and I am hoping that writing on this blog will help me with some of those issues. I am going to attempt to put my thoughts out there for someone else to read, to disagree with, to comment on...oooo, scary...

So I keep walking to work, picking up the trash as I go...it's a routine now...

What Can Jesus Do For You?

When did following Jesus shift from taking up a cross, expecting persecution, being a servant, and giving up your life to 12 things Jesus can do for you?

We are drowning in a culture of consumerism. What can Brown do for you is the motto for everything. If you don't get good service, complain and it will be fixed otherwise you go somewhere else. As the customer, I am always right. I deserve to be helped. What's in it for me?

I really don't believe people (me included) are trying to be selfish. In fact, if you were to try and point out to someone their self-centered nature they could probably give you a list of all the things they have done for others lately. (the fact that we keep those lists at the front of our minds probably says something about our attitude toward being servants) But we are surrounded by messages that tell us we deserve more; we deserve better. Car commercials show us the luxury car that will meet all of our comfort needs while raising our standing in society. Investment firms remind us of how much they can make our money grow so that we can afford the bigger and better. We build houses where everyone has their own room with their own space and their own entertainment so that we can get what we want when we want with no sacrifice or compromise. It is all about us and most of the time we don't even realize we are thinking it.

This leads to a dilemma for the church and for pastors of churches. Denominational leaders, church boards, congregational lay leader, as well as pastors themselves are driven by numbers. How many people are we getting into the building? How many people are being converted? Or would the better phrase be, "How many people are buying Jesus?" We don't talk to each other about it in these terms but we are really marketing and selling the Savior of the world. The One who created all that we see is now being sold like a product. The worst part...I don't think we realize we are doing it.

I have heard sermons lately, from people who I know love God and have a heart for seeing people know Jesus, presenting the gospel in a way that puts the emphasis on the benefits to us. This used to show itself in convincing people that heaven is great and hell is bad so you should get to know Jesus who can give you heaven and keep you out of hell. It seems to have transformed into a multi-step program about how Jesus can make our lives better.

• If we are faithful, God will bless us. This approach rarely defines blessing in a very helpful way and it usually leaves open serious pain and questions when bad things happen to "good" people.
• Do the "right" things and God will make you prosperous. But what about dedicated Jesus followers in third world countries who have nothing?
• Follow Jesus and things will work out for you in the end. Our implication of "end" is generally not an eschatological one. It is usually pointed toward the end of this particular difficult circumstance in which I find myself.

I'm not just talking about "hard-core name-it-and-claim-it" preaching. We are hearing this in evangelical churches whose intentions are not bad. They may just be a little misdirected. We are selling people a Jesus who solves their problems and makes their lives more comfortable. I hope we aren't misrepresenting the message of our crucified LORD.

So here is the question. How do we redirect the tide? How do we begin to help each other see the blinders society has placed on us? In our cities there are churches on every street corner and if we begin to challenge the powers (dare I say idols?) of comfort, pleasure, and self-satisfaction people are going to begin to go to those other churches. How do we move people to a new way of thinking without moving them to another church that isn't challenging the comfort of our day?

God, give us undivided hearts directed toward you. Help us to get our eyes off of ourselves and onto Your mission for saving the world. Forgive us for our self-centered attitudes and grant us the grace to walk humbly, justly, and with the mercy You have shown to us.

More Than a Bassoon

Does anyone out there like music? I don't mean like to listen to music while your checking your email, talking on the phone, cleaning the sink, and clipping your toenails. I'm talking about LISTENING to music. Listening for the intricacies of how the instruments work together. Listen to how they compliment each other and at times contrast each other in order to express something. Listen to how there are times when the music fades and gets so soft it is difficult to hear in order to set up the next crescendo that will blow your mind. Listen to the times notes aren't played in order to stress the importance of the ones that are. I mean LISTEN to music. I wonder what would happen if we listened to Beethoven's 9th but tuned out all instruments except the bassoon? What would that be like?

Why do we sometimes just listen to the bassoon of our Bibles? Why do we focus on a few pet passages and miss the grand symphony that is being played? We get a verse here and there from Paul and call it the gospel. Then we take "the gospels" and read them with that lens or as a batch of sayings from Jesus about how to live life. Then we work backwards from there to the quaint stories of the Old Testament that we treat as stand-alone stories to illustrate a moral. What an exercise in listening only to the bassoon. We have missed the symphony!

I have always been drawn to the Old Testament and the more I get into it the more it influences the way I read the New Testament. I am afraid we are missing so much in our churches because we don't have a clear picture of how the OT frames what the writers are doing in the NT. They are building on the salvific story of God for the world that the OT has been building and the climax comes in Jesus.

• Matthew begins with a genealogy from Abraham to Jesus and makes it pretty clear that this Jew is a part of the story that comes before him. In order to understand him, you had better know his story.
• Mark starts with a prophet in the vein of Elijah pointing back to the OT prophets and what they had been looking and longing for. What was that? What does it mean that John was a prophet like Elijah?
• Luke begins in the Temple and this is important not to miss. Without the OT we don't know how the Temple influences what is going to happen in the life and ministry of Jesus.
• John goes back to the beginning. God created and now He is creating again.

If we don't understand the beginnings in Genesis, the redemption and covenant in Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy, the monarchy and Temple in the "historical" books, and the promise of the new covenant in the prophets we are going to gravely miss the point of the gospels. We won't understand what is happening and will be only getting a small sliver of the greater symphony.

Paul is then a response to the gospel or good news of the life of Jesus. His writing isn't the gospel but the follow-up to the gospel. He is also influenced by the stories that have come before him and without that background we will read him incorrectly.

The point is this; we can't minimize the Old Testament to a collection of stories, rules, and sayings that stand independently from each other and the NT. It is all a part of the same story and plan and we must approach it to make that connection. We need to rejuvenate our OT studies and let it influence the way we read the NT. We need to soak in the entire symphony rather than settling for the partial pleasure of the bassoon. The bassoon player is good and you may enjoy his playing but he is going to agree that the whole orchestra will change you life.

The Forming of Me

If you don't know me or more importantly, if you don't know the church where I grew up then this post is probably going to make little to no sense to you. I just wanted to share something I wrote that expresses the gratitude I have toward the community of people who impacted my life in the name of Jesus when I was growing up.

The Blue Grove

A sea of blue and smiling faces

Glad to be there enjoying life with friends, celebrating and growing together

Like distant relatives together again catching up on the past week

A welcome is heard and music begins

Piano, organ and voices raised with a southern flair and hearts engaged

Out of the blue, guitars appear and song after song is sung with requests for more

Gathering closely together, needs are made known

Knees and heads sink into blue

A slight rumble, louder now, a roar of praise and petition together, in unison, until softer again it fades away

A man stands in the front with a look of authority and something to say

Blue light around a cross shining behind him

Loud words are spoken amidst tears, laughs, shouts and Amens

Beginnings of faith, love, and hope

Gratefulness to those who loved, cared, and prayed

Where are they now? Where are they going? Do they know how much they have guided my journey?

So simple yet so influential...

Have I mentioned my favorite color is blue?

Come and Listen to a Story 'Bout a Man Named...

In the beginning God... (Gen 1)

This is the list of the descendants of Adam...When Lamech had lived for one hundred and eighty-two years, he became the father of a son; he named him Noah... (Gen 5)

These are the descendants of Noah's sons...These are the descendants of Shem...When Terah had lived for seventy years, he became the father of Abram... (Gen 11)

This is the length of Abraham's life, one hundred and seventy-five years. Abraham breathed his last and died in a good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people. His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah...These are the descendants of Isaac, Abraham's son...The first came out red , all his body like a hairy mantle; so they named him Esau. Afterwards his brother came out, with his hand gripping Esau's heel; so he was named Jacob... (Gen 25)

Jacob settled in the land where his father had lived as an alien, the land of Canaan. This is the story of the family of Jacob... (Gen 37)

Then Joseph said to his brothers, ""I am about to die; but God will surely come to you, and bring you up out of this land to the land that he swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." So Joseph made the Israelites swear, saying, "When God comes to you, you shall carry up my bones from here." And Joseph died, being one hundred and ten years old; he was embalmed and placed in a coffin in Egypt. (Gen 50.24-26)

Genealogies are not everyone's favorite sections of scripture to study in the Bible. In fact, most of us see the beginning of a genealogy and run our finger through that section of scripture until we see the "action" begin to take place again. Part of the reason we do this is because in the modern world we communicate history through events. When did the Revolutionary war begin? When was the Battle of Gettysburg? When did WWI and WWII begin and end? (do you also notice that our events seem to be centered around war?) We mark our time by major events. We order them chronologically and then go to the next major event to understand how we got to where we are today. This is modern history.

The ancient historians did not work this way. They were story tellers. They told history through the actions and lives of specific people. Please hear me clearly! Don't miss this! I am NOT saying that because ancient historians tell stories about people that the events did not really occur. I am NOT saying that these events are not true. I AM saying that they had a different way of approaching history.

The book of Genesis is completely structured around the lives of people and those genealogies that we like to avoid are major division markers throughout the book letting us know that the story (where we would use events) is about to change. You could argue that Genesis is still structured chronologically and has major events and I would agree. However, the story of the person is the driving force rather than specific events. When we study Martin Luther King or Martin Luther or Abraham Lincoln it is the events surrounding their lives and their place in that story that tend to take us to them. Not the other way around. The ancient historians start with the person and then move to events and significant happenings.

This becomes even more clear (and leads to some confusion for modern readers) in the books of Judges and 1 & 2 Kings. As modern readers we get confused with the jumping from one place to the next in what we perceive as no particular order. The "order" however lies in the stories of the people on which the author is focusing. Gideon, Sampson, Deborah (represent ladies!), Elijah, etc. Again, these people fall in an order that is somewhat chronological but to try and recreate a time line of events from these stories is difficult and it is not the author's purpose.

And that is the real point. What is the author's purpose? Most of ancient history is written to make a theological point rather than to record history for history's sake. The way the author tells the story, the order in which he places events, the numbers, the time frames, the events are all pointing to the theological truth that he wants the reader to understand. Understanding this way of reading Biblical history is crucial to understanding, teaching, and preaching in our churches. If we look at the history of the Bible through our modern historical mindset, we will miss the point of the ancient historical writer.

We mustn't get caught up in arguing with the people of modern culture about the historicity of the historical books of the Bible. The stories are true but are not recorded in a way the "enlightened" mind tries to define true history. Instead we should be pointing out the theological significance of the passages. What the author is communicating about God. How those truths change the way we live as the people of God. These are the things we must be teaching and preaching in our churches.

Genealogies may not be exhilarating reading but come and listen to a story about a man named...and hear what this story teaches us about the Creator.

Don't Miss It

This is a post from a few months ago...

Have you ever run down a hill at top speed (in flip-flops) chasing a little plastic car carrying a small child squealing with excitement? Have you ever climbed on the roof of your house to retrieve not one but two frisbees while three small boys look at you like you are a superhero? Have you ever squirmed your way into a playhouse so that a 6 year old can send up "treasures" in a bucket tied to a string? I've done them all and I did them tonight.

I had been sitting in the kitchen checking my email, tired from a long day and ready to relax a little. The boys were playing outside and having a great time. Normally I would have kept sitting there until someone started screaming, bleeding, or both. Tonight, however, I heard a quiet voice say, "Don't miss this." I remembered that they aren't going to giggle and squeal in the yard for long and I didn't want to miss it!

This week has been a tutorial in noticing the small things. Those things that happen on a daily basis that, if you aren't paying attention, can go right by without you giving them a second glance. Those things that make you appreciate life and love and God. I needed this lesson. I am the master of focus. A one track mind in action. If I am in the zone and getting things done you had better hope that your hair doesn't catch on fire because I either won't notice or it won't be in my schedule to put it out.

But that is a shame isn't it? While I can be very productive, I also miss important conversations. Small moments in time that make a difference in my life and in the lives of others. I miss the beauty of God's creation as I blaze through it in route to my next mission. I miss learning from the people around me how to live and at times how not to live. I miss God's work in my life in the small things.

Through a conversation with a good friend at work, a couple of books I have been reading for class, a prayer that God would remind me of His work in my life on a daily basis, and through watching the lives of my boys I have been reminded that I don't want to miss those important MOMENTS that you can't get back.

So stop and chat for a minute with someone. Pause in the beautiful weather to smell the air, feel the breeze, or look at the stars. Stare at your spouse for a while and then have some great conversation. I'm going to strap on my flip-flops and get ready to run!